Matutinal Mumbai Musings (Overture)

I think that is the right word, but I'm in no mood to go look it up, even if the trip is only to the next browser window and dictionary.com.

That's what comes of going to bed on a malapropism of "frying bhelpuri" and being awoken at 3:30 a.m. to the sound of a leaking geyser. Not the Ol' Faithful kind, but the modern plumbing kind. Come to think of it, though, this geyser is a bit like Ol' Faithful given the way that it regularly breaks down. Breaks down, hence the leaks. My wit makes me cry. (You too?)

At 3:32 a.m. I tried to dismiss said leaking geyser from my thoughts and valiantly summoned sheep to be enumerated. By 4:40 a.m. the sheep had been counted, herded and shorn, the wool had been carded and knitted into cardigans that were on sale in WalMart at a ridiculous price, but Sleep, that fickle mistress, stayed stubbornly away. The geyser still leaked.

I stumbled to the kitchen and carted a footstool back into the bathroom, clambered up, groped the geyser with all the expertise and none of the enthusiasm of a dance bar patron attending to his favourite lap dancer, and finally managed to turn the tap off. The geyser still leaked.

At 5:00 a.m. when the geyser had reconciled itself to the pressures of modern life and ancient plumbing, it stopped leaking. Too little too late. I had volunteered to escort my wife to the airport where she was scheduled to catch a 6:30 a.m. flight to Bangalore. On a Sunday. Yes, I know, but these are the troubled times we live in.

Up until this time, the day had promised to be one of those where the sun pokes a bleary eye over the horizon and wonders if it could take the day off. Not that the sun had got around to any bleary-eyed poking just yet; it had better sense than that. (It is Sunday, after all.)

For want of anything more sensible to do I noted the time we left and the odometer reading. On the lonely return leg of the airport chukker, I decided it was too early to listen to Pink Floyd (I know, I know: blame it on my advancing years) and spent the time in deciding what to blog today.